Sensational!
by TheSuperbCountess
Summary: Why has everyone become so melodramatic? Who's the hero? Who's the villain? Who's the damsel in distress? Read on, for a truly sensational tale...possibly DH spoilers...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer – All characters and places do not belong to me, they belong to JK Rowling, and no money is being made…

**Prologue**

"This one certainly looks interesting," remarked a fourteen-year-old wizard to his sister. The siblings were idly searching for a halfway decent book to amuse themselves with in the vast library of their New Zealand home.

"Rather Pointless Yet Amusing Charms. There'll be some great stuff in here…"

"I think the wizards who wrote this in the 16th century may have had a different idea about what was amusing than we do now. You'll turn us both mad or something!" The young witch was forever taking that responsible tone with her younger brother.

"No, look! There's one here which makes a load of randomly selected people act all melodramatically. Where's the harm in that?"

"I forbid it! Isidore, don't you dare! You'll ruin someone's life – "

"Randomis melodrama!" As the incantation was said, there was a great POP! in the air. The sound echoed around the high ceilings of the room.

"What have you done?"

Many people's lives were altered by that foolish act, but reader, I shall tell the tale of only a select few.

Six feet below a modest grave in Spinners' End, the man known as Severus Snape was rudely taken from his heavenly bliss and unceremoniously shunted back to reality, very much buried alive. Many miles away, in an even more modest grave, the soul of one Bellatrix Lestrange was pulled from the deepest pit of Tartarus back to its' grateful body. Sirius Black found himself standing in the Department of Mysteries, feeling as alive as he had been in his youth.

The 'Pointless Yet Amusing' spell had chosen them for its melodrama. And so they were wrenched from their eternal sleep. As they fought out of their 'final' resting places, each felt as though they had a new purpose in life – even if they could not, at present, figure out what that purpose was.

Sirius decided immediately to go and see his beloved godson, Harry Potter, who would no doubt be as overjoyed to see him alive as Sirius himself.

Bellatrix decided, after contemplation, to go and see her sister Narcissa. Things had been a bit strained in the years up to her death; Bellatrix was now determined to be a reformed woman, after discovering the true horrors of hell.

As for Severus, he only wanted to see one person: Lily Potter. But, as that was impossible, he went to his old home and decided to see only solitude, desperately unhappy at being brought back to the cruel, harsh world.


	2. Changes of Heart

**Changes of Heart**

Three figures stepped out of the fire at the Leaky Cauldron: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

Half an hour ago, Harry had received a mysterious note informing him that an old friend wished to meet him. Normally, he would dismiss the note as nothing more than a very clever autograph hunter. But this note had an all-too-familiar paw print on it.

Even more unnerving, perhaps, were his friends' reactions. Ron had put on the most serious expression ever etched on his face, and started going on about how Sirius was dead, but they must be brave and not give into sorrow – whilst using words Hermione might have trouble understanding.

She reacted with an almighty "O – O – O!" and promptly fainted. All of this made Harry believe he was dreaming. But then, he told himself, it wasn't the first time his dreams had come true.

As they approached the secluded spot where they were to meet the 'old friend', a hooded figure could be seen rushing to the same spot.

" 'Tis a trap! A trap I tell you! O, save us!" cried Hermione. Harry gave her an exasperated look; Ron appeared not to notice, a grim look once again on his face.

Reader, as the hood slipped down and the figure revealed his identity, the melodramatic spell worked some more magic. Two more fates were to be altered.

Harry, however, failed to notice this sensational moment. "Sirius!" he shouted out. "You're alive! I knew it!"

Sirius, however, failed to notice Harry. Instead he observed the curious bit of magic that had taken place

"Fair lady," he said, greatly confusing Harry. "It is a great pleasure to see you once more." Sirius bowed to Hermione and kissed her hand. At this gesture, Hermione curtseyed gracefully and gazed at his handsome face.

Ten minutes of idle talk followed, which – greatly annoying Harry – was mostly between Sirius and Hermione. So he started shooting dirty looks at the two of them, hoping they would take the hint, but they only had eyes for each other. Ron once again appeared not to notice, and only spoke when he was spoken to. The rest of the time he was looking very interested in something across the street.

The time came for goodbyes. After politely shaking the hands of Ron and Harry, Sirius turned and bowed even lower than last time to his fair lady.

"Well, Miss Granger," were his words. "The time has come for us to part. But feel no sorrow, I am sure we shall meet again soon." And with a dramatic swoop of the cloak, he was gone.

Harry was gobsmacked. Surely this was grossly inappropriate discourse between two who were more than twenty years apart in age?

"What the hell was that all about?" he questioned Hermione. What he wasn't prepared for was the answer.

"O Harry, I'm in love with _charming_ Mr Black!" Harry almost fell over. And since when was he _charming Mr Black?_ A number of emotions rose up inside him. Shock, at the strangeness of it all. Solicitude, for Hermione's safety – and mental health. Rage, at the fact his so-called friend had stolen the closest thing to a father he had from him. As all this was going through his mind, another bizarre incident occurred.

"My friend, who is that specimen of beauty over there?" asked Ron. Looking in the direction he had pointed in, Harry spluttered. _Surely not…_

"You mean _Malfoy's mother?"_

"Alas! She is already taken! I must compete with the affections of Lucius Malfoy! Narcissa, her name is? Narcissa…Narcissa…Cissy…" Harry was overcome with shock and disgust. What had gotten in to them?

His suffering was not over yet, though. A woman he knew, despised, and actually thought to be dead, was running over to the object of Ron's desire. Momentarily, he forgot all his annoyance at his friends and concentrated all his anger on her.

The two sisters soon noticed the glances of Harry and Ron. Narcissa Malfoy looked disgusted at the mere presence of the two. Bellatrix Lestrange, however, had a bizarre look on her face. Almost…Thoughtful.

To the entire street's surprise, she hurried over towards he who had been gazing evilly at her. _Oh no,_ thought Harry. _Please don't tell me she has a new passion for me…_

It seems our scornful friend was being a bit vain. The revelation that Bellatrix had for him was the worst yet…


	3. Family Ties & Unties

**Family Ties & Unties**

Harry, thinking Bellatrix was about to announce her love for him, started to run away.

"Get away from me!" he shouted. "Murderer!" Surprisingly, Bellatrix looked crestfallen.

"Harry James Potter," she said slowly, almost mournfully. Harry frowned. How did she know his middle name? "Is that any way to speak to your mother?"

He stared at her, dumbstruck. There was no way Bellatrix Lestrange was his mother. Didn't everyone always say he had Lily's eyes? Bellatrix seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Simple colour-changing spell, darling," she said dismissively. "My natural colour's green, but black looks so much more _evil_, don't you agree?"

"Have courage!" Ron whispered in Harry's ear.

"But," Bellatrix continued. "As you've brought that subject up, I'll change them back to their true colour. After all, I'm a reformed woman you know!"

Harry sneered. "You'll never be a reformed woman."

"Now, son. Why don't you stay in Diagon Alley with me for the afternoon? We can get ice-creams!"

_The world's gone mad, _Harry decided as he was dragged off for a bonding session with a supposed dead enemy. Hermione went off to pick flowers for Sirius. Ron followed an irritated Narcissa around for a while, before giving up and writing a love poem in her honour instead. It would appear that the world had gone mad; but reader, we know the truth, which is much more interesting…

Meanwhile, back at Malfoy Manor, big changes were happening. Lucius Malfoy woke up manically laughing, to the disturbance of his family. Even stranger, he moved the contents of his office to a little-used tower in the Manor. Then he bought himself an organ, which liked to play menacing melodies every now and then.

For the entire day, he sat up in his tower, stroking a stray cat he'd found (and occasionally his chin too), listening to the evil organ and cackling every so often.

Yes, reader, you guessed it. Lucius Malfoy was under the spell. Because no story is complete without an aristocratic villain…

Unfortunately, his beloved son Draco did not like his father's new image. To be honest, he found it all rather embarrassing.

He went to his father's new office. At his knock, the organ started up and a voice boomed _Enter!_

"Draco, my son! Come and sit down!"

"Father, what's going on? And where did that cat come from?"

"Ahh, the cat! I've named him Hades, suits him, doesn't it? I think he resembles myself slightly, don't you agree? If I just turn my face to the left –"

_SLAM! _Draco had had enough. There was no way he was living with his father like this.

Lucius' cackles could be heard. "Running away to mama, are we? Well, she'll never leave me. You're on your own boy!" Draco realised his father was right. He had nowhere to go. After a moment's consideration, he went to Diagon Alley. _For someone will be there…_

Little did he know, he would run into a lonely and suicidal Severus Snape.


	4. Villainous Deeds

**Villainous Deeds**

The next few days proved very interesting to everyone involved. Harry was spending a lot of time with Bellatrix, who he found was actually very nice. He'd even called her 'Mum' a few times. Hermione and Sirius were also frequently meeting up. They now called each other 'sweetheart' and 'my love'. Ron was still chasing Narcissa Malfoy, who was doing nothing to encourage him. Although she had to admit, the love poem was excellent, even if she didn't understand most of the long words. Draco was now living with Severus Snape, and was beginning to miss the simple pleasures of living in a manor house.

Currently, the said Malfoy Manor was in turmoil. The organ had suddenly started playing a cheerful wedding march. Lucius found he couldn't concentrate on the wicked plans he was thinking up.

As the organ was being repaired, Hades the cat seized the opportunity to escape his master's office and explore for a while. Eventually, he found himself in Narcissa's private sitting room. Because he was a cat, he started rifling through the small bin, not looking for anything in particular. Something pink happened to catch his beady eye. Something pink, with lots of hearts and words on it. Hades was a rather clever cat, and knew it could only mean trouble, so ran straight to his master, the love poem between his teeth.

* * *

"Come on now. Any time soon…" Lucius Malfoy was waiting, and very impatiently at that.

After his faithful cat had shown him that impressive yet juvenile love poem, Lucius went straight to his wife. Naturally, Narcissa made a big scene, sobbing at his knees, telling of her 'stalker' and begging it to 'stop!'.

Pathetic, weeping wives do not usually stir the hearts of aristocratic villains; yet Lucius felt that an exception could be made in this case. So he had told Narcissa to write an owl…which is why Ron Weasley hurried to the designated spot, hoping to see Narcissa, but instead getting Lucius.

But there was a flaw in the brilliant plan. Unknown, unseen, our fair Hermione had followed. For she had been with Ron when the owl was received, and immediately knew it was a trap. Ron, however, was as hapless as usual, despite his new 'hero' look.

"Narcissa?" he called. "Cissy dear?"

A low, cackling laugh answered him.

"Well, well, well. Just who gave you permission to call my wife 'Cissy dear'? I'm afraid only I have that privilege."

All the colour went from Ron's face. He was shaking with fear. No-one could blame him really; Lucius really did look very evil.

"Your time is up, boy. You've been terrorising my wife! It's an insult to just look at such a wife as mine with those Muggle-loving eyes as your own. _Avada_-"

"NO! I won't let you!" Hermione had revealed herself just in time. Ron stared in shock, and then concern.

Lucius rolled his eyes. "Really, who would have thought – a mudblood ruining my plans…" A thought suddenly occurred to him – maybe he could turn this situation to his advantage!

Ten minutes later, Ron and Hermione were locked up in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. Lucius had just given them a very powerful sleeping draught.

_Oh, I am evil. _He thought to himself. _Let's see them get out of this one!_


End file.
